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Extract from Cassandra Rose Clarke's THE ASSASSIN'S CURSE


Here's an excerpt from Cassandra Rose Clarke's The Assassin's Curse. I'm told it's a cross between Saladin Ahmed's Throne of the Crescent Moon and Guy Gavriel Kay's Under Heaven. For more information about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

Here's the blurb:

Ananna of the Tanarau abandons ship when her parents try to marry her off to an allying pirate clan. But that only prompts the scorned clan to send an assassin after her. And when Ananna faces him down one night, armed with magic she doesn’t really know how to use, she accidentally activates a curse binding them together.

To break the curse, Ananna and the assassin must complete three impossible tasks—all while grappling with evil wizards, floating islands, haughty manticores, runaway nobility, strange magic, and the growing romantic tension between them.

Enjoy!
---------------------

I left the inn at sunset. The four vials were tucked away in my pocket, but I kept my knife out. Even though Papa had partially gotten me into this mess, I hated to think what he would say if I went out there completely unprepared.

I walked across the sand for a long time, long enough that the sun melted into the horizon line and the stars began to twinkle in the unending blackness overhead. The wind pushed my hair away from face, tangled my dress up in my legs. And I was so scared I kept choking on my own empty breaths. I’d been in battle before. Battles with weapons, though. Battles against people, not ghouls. And even in those battles my skin turned clammy and numb beforehand, even then I had to remind myself to breathe.

I walked long enough that Lisirra was just a chain of lights in the distance. For a minute I wanted to turn back, just drop the vials and run straight to the garden district and beg my apologies.

Suddenly that medicine scent, the one from the night before, saturated the air.

I stopped walking. The wind howled, blowing my hair into my eyes. I clutched my knife in one hand and stuck my other hand in my pocket and waited.

The shadows lengthened, curled, expanded. I whirled around, looking for a pair of glowing eyes, a flick of dark fabric. Nothing.

I wrapped my hand around the vials.

The world was suddenly too big.

And then he was there. I didn’t see him, but I felt him, a shiver of cold breath on the back of my neck. I spun around, kicking up a spray of moonlit sand, and shoved the knife into my dress sash.

A flash of skin.

I pulled the vials out, broke them between my palms, and threw the whole thing, blood and magic and glass, in the direction of that skin. I screamed the invocation, the words still clumsy on my tongue.

The light erupted clean and bright. In the desert darkness it was the exact same color as the southern seas. It shot up like a fountain toward the sky. For a few seconds the entire desert glowed green.

And then something happened. The light didn’t shower across the sand as it should. It didn’t change into a doorway and disappear. It simply blinked out, like a candle between Mama’s thumb and forefinger as she said goodnight, and I was plunged back into darkness and there was the assassin standing in front of me, his eyes – dark tonight, normal, not blue at all – narrowed above his desert mask.

I screamed. I didn’t have time to think about the failure of the woman’s magic. I didn’t have time to think about anything. I just screamed and screamed, and the assassin stared at me with a sword glinting like starlight at his side.

I stumbled away. The sword flashed, sang, cut a long gash in my right forearm. I fell down into the sand. He darted toward me, and I drew up Papa’s strength and in one movement yanked my knife out from my sash and implanted it squarely in the assassin’s thigh. He stumbled backward, dragging the knife from my grasp, and I thought he looked a little stunned.

No time for thinking, though. I dove forward, grabbed the knife again. He swung his sword down at me and I was able to roll away, sand coating my face, stinging my eyes. I skittered backward across the desert like a crab. I thought the assassin was moving kind of slow for an assassin. Maybe the magic had done something after all. Or maybe he felt sorry for me. That sort of thing happens among cutthroats more often than you’d expect.

The assassin reached into some dark place in his armor and I flung the knife at him, in my panic not taking care to throw it properly. The hilt bounced off his chest. He stopped and looked at me. All I could see were his eyes, but they had a lightness in them that made me think he was laughing, which got me angry instead of scared. I reached over and grabbed the knife, jumped up to my feet, swung my head around, looking for something to use as a weapon or something to use as a trick. Nothing. Nothing except a weird slithery motion through the sand, black against the black night. Then a pair of narrow white fangs. It was coming up behind the assassin, creeping up close to his ankles, but he didn’t take no mind of it. Too busy pulling some murderous enchantment out of his cloak.

I ain’t never liked snakes. You don’t see enough of ’em on the water to get used to ’em, really, and when I saw this one I shrieked without meaning to and stuck my knife clean through it, cause my fear had turned me into a fool who only acted on reflex. Darkness pooled out onto the sand, and the snake flopped a few times and then died. The whole night went still. I swear it was like the assassin and me were the only two people left in the world.

The assassin said something in that beautiful-terrible language of his. But he didn’t try to kill me, which was what I expected. I pulled the knife out of the snake and wiped the blood off on the hem of my dress. The assassin kept staring at the snake like he’d never seen one before. I took this opportunity to attempt an escape, and began creeping back over the sand on my hands and knees.

“Stop,” the assassin said, and I froze, sure I was about to die.

Footsteps thudded on the sand. He came and stood beside me, and when I looked up at him, half-forcing myself to meet his eyes, he pulled the mask away from his face. He wasn’t a ghoul at all, just a man, like the shopkeeper had said, and younger than I would’ve expected, though still a bit older than me, maybe by about five or so years. His entire left cheek was scarred, ripples and folds in the flesh as if from a fire or maybe magic. Beneath the scar he was handsome, though, almost as handsome as Tarrin of the Hariri, so I didn’t exactly relax.

“Did you save my life?” he asked.

“Maybe.” I figured in a situation like this, ambivalence is always best.

“Why did you do that?”

I looked at the dead snake and back up at his scarred face. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

The assassin frowned, and it twisted his face up in a way I found interesting. I waited for him to pull out his sword and slice my throat, but instead he sat down on the sand beside me. He draped his arms over his knees and stared morosely off in the distance.

“I wish you hadn’t done that,” he said.

“Um… I’m sorry?” I waited for a few minutes, watching him. Then I asked, “Are you going to kill me or what?” I figured I might as well get it out of the way.

He looked over at me, moonlight flashing across his dark eyes. I decided I rather liked the look of him, which was a bit of a problem, all things considered.

“No,” he said, sounding glum.

“Oh.” Relief flooded over me, and anybody with any lick of sense would have picked up and ran back toward Lisirra. Instead, I opened my mouth. “Why not?”

He hesitated. “You saved my life.” A pause. “From an asp, of all things.”

“That’s the dumbest reason I ever heard.”

“I’d expect you’d be grateful for it.”

“Oh, I’m plenty grateful,” I said. “I’m just saying, that’s a dumb reason.”

“Yes, well, I’m afraid there’s more.”

I eyed him warily.

“I have to protect you now.” The words came out in a rush, like he was embarrassed to say ’em. I woulda been.

“What? Why?”

“You saved my life. That’s how it works.”

“How what works?”

He didn’t answer, just rubbed at his forehead, and I figured this must be some kind of honor thing, like he swore an oath or something. Pretty stupid oath for an assassin, but what did I know? I’d heard about ships in the Confederation with ridiculous rules of honor. Like this one captain who had his crew give a portion of gold to a temple every time they made port in Empire lands. More often than not the temple turned ’em in, so they spent half their time being chased by the Empire navy. Fortunately, Mama and Papa never much went in for things like that. They always taught me that honor was best defined on a case-by-case basis.

“Well,” I said. “I don’t require your protective services. I’m a pirate.”

“A bit far from the ocean,” he said. He glanced at me out of the corner of his bad eye. “Besides, I’m afraid you do. The Hariri clan expects you dead. They’ll send someone else.”

“Or,” I countered, feeling pleased with my cleverness, “you could just tell them you did it.”

“They require proof.”

“Oh, hell.” I did shudder a little at that, though. Bad enough they hired someone to do their fighting for them. Demanding proof? Good thing I managed to avoid marrying into that family.

We sat side by side without speaking for a while. He went into some kind of trance, and the scent of mint was everywhere and his eyes glowed pale blue like before. Now that I wasn’t scared out of my mind I realized they were the color of the glaciers in the northern seas.

While he was in his trance, I sat there and did some thinking of my own. I lucked out with that snake, no doubt about it. If they sent another assassin – and I figured they would, on account of this one screwing up the job – it might be handy to have a bodyguard around. Better still if that bodyguard was an assassin himself. I didn’t much want to admit it, but he was probably right about me needing his help.

Sides, once the Hariris were taken care of, I could ditch him and head off to Bone Island or maybe straight to the southern port cities. His honor wasn’t my problem. After a while, he shook his head and blinked, and his eyes returned to normal, like his soul had come back from wherever he’d sent it. You never know with magic-users. “How’s your leg?” I asked him. Figured it might be good to play at making friends.

“What?”

“Your leg. I stabbed you.”

He stared at me. Then he peered down at his leg, spread his hands over the dark fabric of his trousers. Blood on black is too dark to see in the best of times, and even with the moonlight I couldn’t make anything out.

“A flesh wound,” he said. “I’ll be fine.” He paused, tilted his head toward me. “How’s your arm?”

“Oh.” I glanced down at it. The blood had dried onto my skin, and the wound had stopped hurting sometime in the middle of the fight. “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” I paused. “My name’s Ananna, by the way.”

He hesitated. I was about to tell him he didn’t have to give his name, but then he spoke up. “You can call me Naji.”

“Glad I have something to call you,” I said. He looked like he wanted to smile, and his eyes kind of brightened, but otherwise his face didn’t move.

The wind picked up.

I didn’t think much of it, except to duck my head to keep sand from blowing in my eyes. But Naji grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me roughly to my feet. When I looked up my heart started pounding something fierce, cause the desert was lit up like it was daytime, light coming from the swirls of sand slicing through the air. When the sand struck against my skin it left a shimmery golden glow, like the pots of expensive body paint we sometimes stole from merchant ships.

“The Hariris?” I said, dazed. Sand stung the inside of my mouth. “Already?”

Naji yanked the mask back over his face, leaving just his eyes. “No,” he said. “Find someplace to hide.”

“It’s the middle of the desert!”

He shoved me away from him, and I stumbled across the sand, almost losing my balance. My eyes watered and my nostrils burned. I pulled the knife out of my sash and clutched it tight, close to my hips, the way Papa taught me. I had no intention of slinking off behind some moonlit desert tree. My people do not hide.

A figure emerged from the swirl of sand and light: a woman dressed in long rippling skirts. Something about her, about the way she moved, seemed familiar–

It was the woman from the dress shop.

She looked a lot grander than I remembered, and even more beautiful. Her hair streamed out in dark ribbons behind her, and her skin glowed with the same light from the sand. Her pale eyes were stones in the middle of her face. I tried to find my voice, to tell her Naji wasn’t no threat anymore, but she spotted me and I froze in place.

“You,” she said. “Why aren’t you dead?”

“What?” It came out barely a whisper. My heart thudded against my chest, anger and confusion spinning out through my body.

The woman scanned the desert. “I should have known better than to send a sea rat out here.” Her gaze flicked over to me. “Though you seemed to have so much potential. I really did think it would work.”

I realized then that the woman had used me – I didn’t know the full of it, but I hated that I’d trusted her enough to let her do it. So I lunged forward, knife outstretched, but she picked up one hand and flicked her fingers and I went flying backward. I landed hard enough in the sand that all the breath slammed out of me, but then Naji was pulling me up to standing. He pressed his face close to my ear, his mask rippling as he spoke.

“If you insist on fighting, take this.” And he slipped something into my hand, something rough and dry and so powerful that even I recognized the magic in it, before bounding off to face down the woman.

“Assassin,” she hissed, drawing out the word, and Naji reached into his armor, pulled out the same satchel he’d almost used on me. He didn’t throw it at her, though, just reached in and pulled out some dark dust, which he blew across the desert, cutting out all the light from the woman’s incandescent sand. The desert plunged back into night. The woman’s scream echoed through the darkness, and then her silhouette attacked his silhouette, and I blinked a couple times, willing my eyes to adjust. When they did, Naji had drawn his sword, the blade flashing in the moonlight. And the woman had a sword of her own.

I held up the charm he had slipped me. It was a necklace, a ball of dusty dried-out vines and flower petals hanging off a piece of narrow leather. I slipped it over my neck and immediately I felt protected, impenetrable. Safe.

Damn him! He was sticking to that idiotic oath to protect me. Which meant he was in the middle of a magic-and-sword fight without protection. The charm must have stopped the magic from before, the magic intended to suck him through the portal – now if she tried anything, it would actually work.

I knew better than to jump into the middle of the fight, much as I wanted to. Instead, I looped around behind the woman, keeping myself low to the sand. The woman knocked Naji back with a burst of magic, and as she regrouped herself, I attacked. I shoved my knife into her shoulder blade. She howled, whirled around. Light seeped out of the wound, and a few droplets flung across my face. It was hot on my skin, and for a moment I faltered, not sure what to do about a beautiful lady who bleeds light.

But then she did that flicking motion with her hand again, only this time I stayed put, protected, and in the few seconds before she could realize the secret hanging around my neck, I stuck the knife into her belly. More light spurted out, landing on the sand, on the fabric of my dress.

There were hands on my shoulders, pulling me backward. Naji. He sang something in his language, and the sky ripped open, the stars streaming in the blackness. He wound one arm over my chest and pulled me close to him, close enough that I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. All the wind in the world blew into that gash in the sky. The woman screamed, and her feet lifted up off the earth, light pouring out of her wounds and turning into stars in the darkness, and then she tumbled head over feet through the air and was gone.

The gash sewed itself back up.

Naji let me go. I dropped down to the sand, exhausted, and rolled over onto my back to look up at the sky. The light from the stars was dazzling.

“Who was she?” I asked.

“Stand up,” said Naji. “We shouldn’t stay here. It’s not safe.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” But I got back up to my feet, shaking as I did. The woman’s light was still on my clothes and skin and knife, although the glow was beginning to fade. Naji reached over and plucked the charm from my neck, and I felt his touch long after he’d slipped the charm back into his cloak.

“Well?” I said.

“She’s from the Otherworld,” said Naji. “She’s been chasing after me for some time.”

I stared at him. “Another world?” I asked. “What, like the ice-islands?”

Naji’s head turned in the darkness. He still had on his mask.

“No,” he said. “Not like the ice-islands.”

I waited for an explanation.

He sighed. “It’s a world layered on top of our world. Some call it the Mists.”

“Oh, well that clears everything up.” But I remembered the woman refusing to tell me where the green-light portal would send Naji. Elsewhere.

“I’ll explain it to you later. We need to get out of the desert before the fallout takes effect.”

I took fallout to mean the magic-sickness, since even I could feel that prickle in the air that always comes when you use too much magic at once. Mama’d told me stories about how it changes you, since that’s all magic is anyway, pure change – she said she knew a dirt-witch who got turned into a pomegranate tree after trying to resurrect her dead husband. And I’d seen clams and ripples of sea-bone sprout out of the side of the Tanarau after Mama used magic in battle.

Naji turned, cloak swirling around him, and walked in the direction of the city. And cause the air was choking with magic, the sand twisting into figures in the darkness, my own skin crawling over my bones, I followed him.

Peter F. Hamilton contest winner!

Thanks to the generosity of the folks at Macmillan, this lucky winner will get his hands on a signed ARC of Peter F. Hamilton's upcoming Great North Road! For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

The winner is:

Matt Gordon, from London, England

Many thanks to all the participants!

Exclusive extract from Kameron Hurley's RAPTURE


After loving Kameron Hurley's God's War to such a degree, I simply can't wait to read the sequel, Infidel (Canada, USA, Europe).

And here's an excerpt from the soon-to-be-released final volume, Rapture. For more information about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

Here's the blurb:

After years in exile, Nyxnissa so Dasheem is once more a bel dame, part of a sisterhood of elite government assassins trained to a cut a target's head off without remorse. But the end of a centuries-long war has thrown her native land of Nasheen into turmoil. A huge influx of unemployed--and unemployable--young soldiers have brought Nasheen to the brink of civil war, even as an alien spaceship stations itself in orbit above the capital.

With aliens in the sky and revolution on the ground, Nyx figures it's a good time to get the hell out of Nasheen, so she assembles a team of renegades, shape-shifters, magicians, and mercenaries to rescue a missing political leader who may be the difference between peace and bloodshed.

Just one problem: the politician is an old enemy whom Nyx once left to die in a ditch . . .

Enjoy!
----------------------

Ahmed traded his face for a ticket out of Sahar. It seemed a fair enough deal at the time—the butchers told him it was a pretty face, and they had a fair number of mutilated veterans coming off the front who’d have use for it. As it was, he could use a new face himself. It was harder for bel dames to hunt down faceless men.

But when he woke on the butcher’s block, his vision a gray haze, a dull throbbing in his swollen mouth—like it had been stuffed with gauze—and he pressed his fingers to his engorged face and lips and tried to speak… he knew something was terribly wrong.

They had not taken his face.

They had taken his tongue.

A tall woman entered. Her hands were bloody crimson, her gaunt face a hallowed mask. In her fingers she held a strange creature—half worm, half beetle. It was flat and smooth, with savage hooks at one end.

“Open,” the woman said. He did not recognize her. Someone else had made the deal with him, and another woman had taken him here. She gripped his chin firmly in one hand, presented the worm-bug with the other. “Open,” she said, “Or did you never want to speak again?”

He opened. The worm fell into his mouth, wriggling and lashing. The morphine had taken the edge off, but he felt it when the worm jabbed itself into the stub of what was left of his tongue.

Ahmed retched.

“Don’t fight it,” the woman said. She slapped his shoulder. Left a long red smear of blood. “Just let it settle. In a week you won’t even notice it.”

He choked and drooled and finally, painfully, mumbled something like a curse. The worm waggled on the stub of his tongue. His words felt mangled, mushy. He gagged again.

“It’ll conform to you,” the woman said. “It’s a proper parasite. Just give it time.” A tongue was a cheap organ, he knew. Not at all worth a trip out of Sahar. He bled all over the paperwork and collected his small sum and would have cursed the woman who’d taken him here, but the thought of speaking made his stomach churn. If he spent another day in Sahar, he would be dead. It didn’t matter much what he had to sell to get out.

So he slogged back into the fleshpots, and traded his right kidney for the remainder of what he needed for his train ticket. Still drooling and stumbling, he picked the first train headed to the interior. The woman at the counter spent twenty minutes reviewing his discharge tattoo and accompanying paperwork, then asked for an additional personal fee.

“I don’t understand that request,” he said, his words coming out garbled, sloppy, as if he were chewing on the worm with every word. He gagged again.

The ticket agent smiled, brazenly, the way all the women did who weren’t at the front. She told him men weren’t permitted on the interior without a special pass. “You won’t get past the filter, even with a face like that.”

He had no interest in being reminded of his fucking face.

“I’m not aware of that law,” he said, and spit blood and some yellow-pink mucus on her counter.

“You are now,” she said. “One hundred notes, or you stay here at the front with the rest of the boys.” She leaned away from the ticket counter, still grinning. “I suppose you could walk across that desert. Plenty of other boys have, I hear. Mushtallah looks like some magician’s slab, bunch of pretty boys all standing around waiting to get put in jars.”

He had spent far too many nights on the sand already. His slick was going bad, starting to stink, and they had relieved his entire platoon of weapons before getting their discharge tattoos. Aside from the slick and his other kidney, he had little left of any value. If only they’d taken his face.

Ahmed took a deep breath. He started to recite the ninety-nine names of God, the way he had the time he saw his first squad torn apart by a hornet burst. It was the calm that kept you whole, when a hornet burst started biting. He had spent an hour in perfect stillness as his squad screamed and died around him, their faces and hands swelling and bursting, bloody foam at their mouths.

He thought, again, of his face. Tried to tame his new tongue. “Is there some other arrangement we can come to?”

It was easier to make the proper words this time, but it still felt grotesque, as if he were swallowing some live meal with every word.

The woman laughed. A big laugh, full and fearless, like the rest of her. “I have plenty of those offers, thanks.” She waved at the packed platform beyond the station, filled with boys and men, many of them still in their tattered standard-issue slicks, just as he was. “I work for currency. Blood, bugs, or notes. No exceptions.”

Ahmed considered that. “I can pay you a pint of blood and three locusts.”

“What kind of locusts?”

“Khairian.”

“Deal. Come here in the back and Samara will take care of you.”

He had no locusts, but it took him only a few minutes to call some. She was no magician. It wouldn’t be until she presented the locusts to a buyer that she would discover they were just some local variety. He had promised not to use his skill again after leaving the front, but it was like trying to put down any other weapon—once you became accustomed to it, you picked it up again, easy as breathing.

Samara, the woman waiting for him in the back, was a pleasant sort of woman, beefy and generous. A quick glance behind the ticket counter told him there were no magicians there either. Samara happily took his locusts, and more. Despite her colleague’s insistence that no other services were of value, her friend Samara had other ideas. Not even his wormy little tongue would dissuade her.

She seemed only mildly disappointed his cock wouldn’t cooperate, but did not ask why. He wondered how many others she had brought back here, and how many had been in any state to satisfy her with something other than a tongue or a hand.

She pushed his ticket at him when she was finished, and he gripped it closely and hurried away. Thrust it at the first platform manager he saw. She directed him to a waiting train. He stepped in, found a seat in the crowded third-class cabin, and wept for the first time since the end of the war.

* * *

Ahmed stepped out of the train ten hours later and into a hot, chalky evening. He was hungry and light-headed, but full of hope that the interior cities he remembered would be significantly more welcoming than the border towns.

He had bunched up his ticket and jammed it in one of his slick’s pockets. Now he fished his ticket out, but the drugs and exhaustion meant he had trouble reading it. When the morphine had worn off on the train, he switched to siva, the military-issued version of sen, but it still left him muzzy-headed and aching. He doubted the vet he got it from was entirely honest about what it was. Siva had never left him feeling this disoriented.

A few passengers disembarked around him, and he finally mustered up the gall to ask one of the nearby women, “Excuse me, matron, what city is this?”

She looked startled. Then something like disgust tore at her face. It was a reaction he was becoming accustomed to. But it still cut at his heart. He had hoped the interior was different.

She kept moving as she said, “You’re in Amtullah, boy.”

It was never anything but that—boy. Not sir, not patron, not “What’s your name?” Just… boy. As if he had walked off his house mother’s stoop just yesterday.

Ahmed had never heard of Amtullah. That in itself wasn’t odd, he supposed. He grew up in the southeast, near the Drucian border. There weren’t a lot of people there, or proper schools. His first squad thought his accent was a laugh, and it had taken him two years to suppress it.

He gazed over the stir of women, toward the city proper. In the south, there were still some green things, so he expected the rest of the interior would be like that too, but no—even on the train, all he saw of the interior was dry and desiccated, just like the front. Yet, unlike the border towns, this city was intact. He saw elegant minarets in the distance rising from a cluster of domed public buildings and upscale tenement houses, all of it surrounded in a massive filter that blanketed the stir of the city like some kind of membrane. It was the most massive filter he’d ever seen, and he spent a long time working out how to deal with it. Outside, the boys and men who had come with him were headed toward customs, already arguing with the armed women who he assumed would carry the city’s only passkeys.

He found a call box inside the station and dialed the only civilian pattern he still remembered.

After the line stirred and chittered and spat for some time, a thin voice rose from the darkness and rasped, “Who is this?”

“Amtullah. Filter. You done one before?”

“Who is this?”

“You said to call if I ever came home.”

He heard something clatter on the other side of the line. “Been a long time, friend.” “Have you done that filter or not?”

“Call this pattern. Oval. Square. Circle. Circle. Triangle. Hex. Got that?”

He repeated it.

“Good. She’ll hook you up.” There was some noise in the background. Ahmed wondered if the man had a proper family now, someone he had to hide Ahmed from. “Don’t call again.”

“I won’t.”

“Ahmed?”

“Yes?”

The man’s voice broke. “Everyone has his fate, but I asked God, the compassionate, the merciful, at each prayer for your safe return. May God preserve you.”

Ahmed hung up. Stared at the filter. His commanding officer had told him once that fear in the ranks was rampant, yes, but it was fear that kept people in line. “They need to fear me more than the enemy,” she told him. “That’s the secret to any great command.”

He had put a knife through her three years later. But even in that instant, he wasn’t sure who was more terrified—him or her. Worse, he wasn’t sure what any of that proved.

Ahmed had worked for a lot of smart, sadistic fucks. They had hidden the sadism behind military intelligence badges and security protocols, but their arrogance and lack of compassion were harder to tuck up under a prayer rug. They had taught him everything they knew, and he had used it ruthlessly, relentlessly. It had kept him alive, yes. But his reward for fifteen years of service and putting a knife in the eye of every good soldier he knew was this.

Six weeks ago, he’d known very little about the world outside the military. Now he knew enough to be certain that the man he was at the front no longer existed. Assholes lived a long time, but if that was living, he wanted none of it. It was time to let go of all the catshit, and learn how to be a man on his own terms, in a new world that had no idea what to do with him.

This week's New York Times Bestsellers (September 17th)

In hardcover:

George R. R. Martin's A Dance With Dragons is up one spot, finishing the week at number 5. For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

S. M. Stirling's Lord of Mountains debuts at number 13.

Dean Koontz’ Odd Apocalypse is down six positions, ending the week at number 17.

Kevin J. Anderson's Clockwork Angels debuts at number 18.

Deborah Harkness’s Shadow of Night is down six spots, finishing the week at number 21. For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

Terry Brooks' Wards of Faerie is down five spots, finishing the week at number 24. For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

Christie Golden's Jaina Proudmore: Tides of War is down fifteen spots, finishing the week at number 28. For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

R. A. Salvatore's Charon's Claw is down five positions, ending the week at number 30. For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

In paperback:

George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones is down one spot, finishing the week at number 7.

David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas is up seven positions, ending the week at number 7 (trade paperback).

Stephen King's 11/22/63 is down one position, ending the week at number 11 (trade paperback).

George R. R. Martin's A Storm of Swords returns at number 12.

George R. R. Martin's A Feast for Crows is down four positions, ending the week at number 14.

George R. R. Martin's A Clash of Kings is down six positions, ending the week at number 15.

Erin Morgenstern's The Night Circus is down three positions, ending the week at number 15 (trade paperback).

Seanan McGurie’s Ashes of Honor debuts at number 16.

Deborah E. Harkness' A Discovery of Witches is up one spot, finishing the week at number 33.

UK cover art for Saladin Ahmed's THRONE OF THE CRESCENT MOON


Saladin Ahmed's debut, Throne of the Crescent Moon, will be published on the other side of the pond by Gollancz in January and I like the cover art of the UK edition! For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

Here's the blurb:

One of the year's most anticipated fantasy debuts, from a finalist for the Nebula and Campbell Awards.

The Crescent Moon Kingdoms, land of djenn and ghuls, holy warriors and heretics, Khalifs and killers, is at the boiling point of a power struggle between the iron-fisted Khalif and the mysterious master thief known as the Falcon Prince. In the midst of this brewing rebellion a series of brutal supernatural murders strikes at the heart of the Kingdoms.

Doctor Adoulla Makhslood, the last real ghul hunter in the great city of Dhamsawaat, just wants a quiet cup of tea. A fat old man who has grown weary of hunting monsters and saving lives, he's more than ready to retire from his dangerous vocation. But when an old flame's family is murdered, Adoulla is drawn back to the hunter's path.

Adoulla's young assistant Raseed, a hidebound holy warrior whose prowess is matched only by his piety, is eager to deliver God's justice. But even as Raseed's sword is tested by ghuls and manjackals, his soul is tested when he and Adoulla cross paths with the tribeswoman Zamia.

Zamia Badawi, Protector of the Band, has been gifted with the power of the Lion-Shape, but shunned by her people for daring to take up a man's title. She lives only to avenge her father's death. Until she learns that Adoulla and his allies also hunt her father's killer. Until she meets Raseed.

When they learn that the murders and the Falcon Prince's brewing revolution are connected, the companions must race against time - and struggle against their own misgivings - to save the life of a vicious despot. In so doing they discover a plot for the Throne of the Crescent Moon that threatens to turn Dhamsawaat, and the world itself, into a blood-soaked ruin
.

Tad Williams contest winner!

Thanks to the generosity of the author and his lovely wife Deborah, our winner will get his hands on an autographed copy of Tad Williams' The Dirty Streets of Heaven. For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

The winner is:

Brett Iddison, from Sandy, Utah, USA

Many thanks to all the participants!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey trailer



Still can't believe that there will be three movies, but at least it looks good. . .

A MEMORY OF LIGHT Prologue

Once again for Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson's A Memory of Light, the prologue has been made available online to whet fans' appetite for the last volume in The Wheel of Time saga.

So you can now download "By Grace and Banners Fallen" for 2.99$ here.

Guest Blog: Margaret Weis


Like many speculative fiction readers of my generation, I fell in love with the fantasy genre at the age of 12 when I first read Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman's Dragons of Autumn Twilight. The rest, as they say, is history!

Her latest SFF novel was Shadow Raiders (Canada, USA, Europe) and it was published last year. This is her first ever blog post and I'm pleased that it's happening on the Hotlist!

For more information about the author, check out her official website.

Enjoy!
-----------------------

THE BOOK I'D LIKE TO WRITE, BUT MY AGENT WOULD HAVE HEART FAILURE

I really want to write a western.

Many years ago, for a YA nonfiction book Frank and Jesse James, I researched the border wars between Missouri and Kansas during the Civil War. I grew up in that area and the period fascinates me. I occasionally dream about writing a novel about William Clark Quantrill and those who rode with him: Frank and Jesse James, Cole Younger and his brothers, Bloody Bill Anderson.

Okay, I'm exaggerating in the title. My agent is a wonderful person and I know she'd do her damndest to sell a western for me. But I realize it would be easier to sell if Jesse James toted a magical six-shooter and he was helping the cattle ranchers get rid of a dragon holed up in the hills north of Abilene.

And if by some miracle the book did get published, my fans probably couldn't find it because the bookstores would shelve it under westerns, which is generally a bit of hike from the fantasy aisles.

My daughter and I wrote two paranormal romance novels. Some bookstore managers shelved them under my name, which is in the fantasy section, so the romance readers missed them. Others placed the novels in the romance aisle, which was fine, except that now the fantasy fans had no clue they were out there.

And I've had fans who have no idea I've written anything else besides Dragonlance, because they are shelved in the Dragonlance section, which is subsection of the fantasy section, which is a subsection of the fiction section.

I remember the bookstore of my childhood. It was in downtown Kansas City, the only bookstore downtown. The store was called "Time to Read" and it featured pornographic magazines in the front of the store. In the back of the store was a wonderful fiction section. The only category was Fiction. The authors were arranged in alphabetical order. There was Dumas with Doyle--D'artagnan and Sherlock Holmes. Asimov with Alcott--robots and Little Women. Steinbeck and Stout--George and Lennie, Nero Wolfe and Archie Goodwin. A wonderful feast of different books to tempt the reader to try something of everything.

I understand why bookstores have all these categories. They're making it easy for the fans to go straight to their section where they know they're going to find books they like. But in that process, think of all they are missing!

I wonder what would happen today if bookstores got rid of the categories. Jumble all the fiction together like that old bookstore of the sixties--a fantasy novel next to a western, a horror novel on the shelf below, a romance novel on a shelf above and maybe Hamlet in between. Encourage the reader to browse through the wonders of fiction of every genre.

Don't get me wrong. I love writing fantasy novels. And I’m not worried about those who look down their literary noses at genre writers. (Which included my own mother, who was very proud of my work, but always wanted me to be the next Katherine Ann Porter.) I've heard authors debate that by segregating books into genres, we are encouraging that sort of snobbery. But don't we do that even among ourselves. Who among us hasn't faintly sneered as we hurried past the romance aisle?

I had fun writing those romance novels and maybe I will write that western someday. Now I think of it, Jesse James and dragons is an interesting idea.

I wonder where the bookstores would shelve it.

More inexpensive ebook goodies!

You can now download Saladin Ahmed's collection of short stories, Engraved on the Eye, for 3.99$ here.

Here's the blurb:

Stories to Captivate the Imagination: Welcome to the worlds of Saladin Ahmed.

A medieval physician asked to do the impossible. A gun slinging Muslim wizard in the old West. A disgruntled super villain pining for prison reform. A cybernetic soldier who might or might not be receiving messages from God. Prepare yourself to be transported to new and fantastical worlds.

The short stories in this collection have been nominated for the Nebula and Campbell awards. They’ve been reprinted in The Year’s Best Fantasy and other anthologies, recorded for numerous podcasts, and translated into several foreign languages. Now they are collected in one place for the first time. Experience for yourself the original voice of one of fantasy’s rising stars!

The Prisoner of Heaven



Well, as you know, Carlos Ruiz Zafón's The Shadow of the Wind just might be the best novel I have ever read. And although the sequel, The Angel's Game, could never hope to live up to the lofty expectations generated by its predecessor, it was nevertheless an awesome read in its own right. Enter the third installment, The Prisoner of Heaven, and I must admit I have seldom been so excited to read a book!

But could Carlos Ruiz Zafón's latest live up to such expectations? Though I felt it was way too short, The Prisoner of Heaven should satisfy all those who enjoyed its predecessors!

Here's the blurb:

The internationally acclaimed New York Times bestselling author Carlos Ruiz Zafon takes us into a dark, gothic Barcelona and creates a rich, labyrinthine tale of love, literature, passion, and revenge in which the heroes of The Shadow of the Wind and The Angel's Game must contend with a nemesis that threatens to destroy them.

Barcelona, 1957. It is Christmas, and Daniel Sempere and his wife, Bea, have much to celebrate. They have a beautiful new baby son named Julian, and their close friend Fermin Romero de Torres is about to be wed. But their joy is eclipsed when a mysterious stranger visits the Sempere bookshop and threatens to divulge a terrible secret that has been buried for two decades in the city's dark past. His appearance plunges Fermin and Daniel into a dangerous adventure that will take them back to the 1940s and the early days of Franco's dictatorship. The terrifying events of that time launch them on a search for the truth that will put into peril everything they love and ultimately transform their lives.

Full of intrigue and emotion, The Prisoner of Heaven is a majestic novel in which the threads of The Shadow of the Wind and The Angel's Game converge under the spell of literature and bring us toward the enigma hidden at the heart of the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, a collection of lost treasures known only to its few initiates, and the very core of Carlos Ruiz Zafon's enchanting fictional world.

I loved the way Zafón linked The Angel's Game to The Shadow of the Wind at the end of the second book. It was done subtly and poignantly, and it was a very satisfying way to bring the story to an end. But since a few years have passed since the second installment was published, and since both novels are complex and convoluted affairs, it would have been good for The Prisoner of Heaven to include summaries of the previous books. Especially since this third volume acts as some sort of bridge between the first two installments and what will come after. The author claims that one can read the books in whatever order they choose, that each book is a self-contained tale, but I feel that one must read them in the order they were released to catch all the nuances so that you can only shake your head in wonder when you realize how various things are connected.

Once again, Zafón takes us back to Barcelona, this time in 1957. As is usually his wont, the author's evocative prose offers a wealth of insight into that period of time. As was the case in both The Shadow of the Wind and The Angel's Game, he paints a vivid picture which allows the reader to be transported back in time and truly experience what Barcelona was like in the late 50s.

In the first two volumes, Zafón's narrative sucked you right into those convoluted tales of love, deceit, mystery, and betrayal from the very first page. As a sort of transition novel in the series, The Prisoner of Heaven is not as complex. To a certain extent, it is Fermin Romero de Torres' back story. But it also bridges The Shadow of the Wind and The Angel's Game, paving the way and setting the stage for what will happen next.

One would think that this could be construed as a negative point, but the characterization is once more "top notch" and the way the author tied so many plotlines from the previous installments together makes The Prisoner of Heaven a real page-turner.

Familiar faces like Daniel, his father, and Bea make a number of appearances, and Zafón also has a number of surprises in store for us. Be that as it may, as is often the case when he's in a scene, it's Fermin who steals the show for the better part of the book, be it in the flashback sequences recounting his time in prison or in "real time" as he's getting ready to become a married man.

Simultaneously funny, tragic, and moving, Carlos Ruiz Zafón's intelligence, wit, humor, and deft human touch are once again the ingredients that make The Prisoner of Heaven such a memorable read. The author sure knows how to pull on those heartstrings.

The pace is perfect, which means that you'll get through the relatively short 278 pages in no time. The downside is that we must now wait a few years to discover what's next for Daniel and Fermin and the rest of the characters.

Although The Prisoner of Heaven is nowhere near as good as The Shadow of the Wind and The Angel's Game, it remains a touching and remarkable tale that makes you beg for more. Fans of Carlos Ruiz Zafón will devour this one!

The final verdict: 8.5/10

You can read an extract from the novel here.

For more info about this title: Canada, USA, Europe.

And here's the book trailer:



There is also a free short story titled "Rose of Fire" available for free on the internet.

Here's the blurb:

Set at the time of the Spanish Inquisition in the fifteenth century, “Rose of Fire” tells the story of the origins of the mysterious labyrinthine library, the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, which lies at the heart of Carlos Ruiz Zafón’s novels The Shadow of the Wind, The Angel’s Game, and now The Prisoner of Heaven.

Follow this link to read the short story online.

More inexpensive ebook goodies!


You can now download Lois McMaster Bujold's Beguilement for 0.99$ here. You can also get the second volume of The Sharing Knife series, Legacy, for the same price here.

Here's the blurb for Beguilement:

Troubled young Fawn Bluefield seeks a life beyond her family’s farm. But en route to the city, she encounters a patrol of Lakewalkers, nomadic soldier–sorcerers from the northern woodlands. Feared necromancers armed with mysterious knives made of human bone, they wage a secret, ongoing war against the scourge of the "malices," immortal entities that draw the life out of their victims, enslaving human and animal alike.

It is Dag—a Lakewalker patroller weighed down by past sorrows and onerous present responsibilities—who must come to Fawn’s aid when she is taken captive by a malice. They prevail at a devastating cost—unexpectedly binding their fates as they embark upon a remarkable journey into danger and delight, prejudice and partnership . . . and perhaps even love.

Teaser extract from J. M. McDermott's NIRVANA GATES


Nirvana Gates is a new novella set in the ongoing Fathomless Abyss series. With this one, J. M. McDermott expands this growing shared-world collective created by Phil Athans, J.M. McDermott, Mike Resnick, Brad R.Torgersen, Jay Lake, Mel Odom, and Cat Rambo.

So that potential readers could learn more about this shared-world collective, I invited a few of its creators to tell us more about it:

ABOUT THE ABYSS

The Fathomless Abyss is an experiment in group-self-publishing.

Philip Athans, author and series editor: With the “E-book Revolution” in full force, authors, publishers, and readers alike are starting to not only question the previous generations’ definitions of what a book is, how much it should cost, who gets paid what and when, and so on, but a lot of us are starting to venture into the uncharted waters of the future of publishing. This whole thing is a bit of a flyer—an experiment in how a group of creative people can work together to develop something that would be in equal parts too ambitious (too many personalities and too much up-front money) and too small-scale (novellas in the 20,000-30,000 word range as opposed to novels of 90,000 or more words) for “traditional” publishers.

J.M. McDermott, author: He puts the words “traditional” in quotation marks. Look, Phil ran one of the largest publishing houses in fantasy fiction for years, as managing editor of Wizards of the Coast’s fiction line. This is a very traditional project, indeed, though it is part of a different set of traditions. The word “Indie” used to mean something about hand-stapled, un-conglomerated, original, and experimental works that the mainstream media delivery mechanisms couldn’t handle well with existing systems. We’re following the traditions of the Indie houses, experimenting and iterating. The only difference, now, is that we are delivering electrons instead of photocopied ’zines, or hand-stapled chapbooks, furtively left on coffee shop tables, hoping someone else will catch the story, catch the idea. Unfortunately, it’s easier than ever to play into this tradition—no walking around and hand-selling to record stores and coffee houses that have seen it all, heard it all—and we’re simply not the DIY people of ten and twenty years ago. But, we’re putting out quality product in an innovative way, attempting to do more than what the major categories of markets permit with their marketing budget and sales force and distribution networks. We are traditional publishing. It’s a tradition even older than what we call publishing. We’re hustlers of fiction. We’re hustling.

Athans: We started with the germ of an idea that I’d been mulling over for years: A (literally) bottomless pit opens up to reveal whole cultures clinging to the sides of it, people of various sorts making their way in this hostile environment. When I ran that past “the collective,” the germ started multiplying and mutating as files and notes were passed through cyberspace, ending up as the first draft of a world “bible” that got us started with short stories. Those stories were collected in Tales From the Fathomless Abyss, the first release in the series.

Cat Rambo, author: I find writing in this world weirdly freely because the premise is so wacky that I can do anything. While things have to have resonance, some underlying sense of meaning, you can still go in directions that you couldn't in fiction tending harder to the realist tradition.

McDermott: Everywhere in the world, all the time, there are these weird situations where people just go missing. Sometimes the body is found. Sometimes the person is found. Sometimes there’s just a puff of wind carrying a name searchers shout a while and then it’s as gone as the person. Where do they go? Where do all these people go?

Sometimes people disappear, and there isn’t a trace in this world. It isn’t rational to say it, but maybe there is more to this world and life of ours than what is merely rational. There is an abyss. People fall in sometimes, from all over. People get stuck and don’t come back out. And, if they do make it, their visions of an underworld—fae, inferno, yomi-no-kuni—are interpreted away as dream visions or theologies or near death experiences.

The abyss is a near death experience.

Athans: I acted as the series editor as well as one of the authors, so when it came time to start scheduling novellas, I put my money (or, more accurately, time) where my mouth is and volunteered to kick it off. That novella is Devils of the Endless Deep. After some negotiations and reconfiguring of schedules, and so on, J.M. McDermott got to the finish line next with Nirvana Gates, and I’ve only just received the first draft of A Seed on the Wind by Cat Rambo, which will be up for sale in October.

Rambo: I’ve been enjoying seeing what other people come up with and how we play off each other’s creations. It’s experimental in so many senses of the world, from writing to collaborative process to new publishing model.

McDermott: I’ll ride along until it’s not fun anymore. It’s been lots of fun, so far. It’s always nice to work out in indie publishing and have a fantastic cover and editor, right away. I’m waiting to decide what I will write next until after I read Cat Rambo’s novella. Her short story was strong, and I incorporated it into my own novella. What’s been really fun, for me, has been looking for ways to play with someone else’s toys. It’s been a huge challenge, but it’s also been huge fun. Publishing explodes and flowers and explodes again. I’m not too concerned about that. I just keep writing what interests me, and so far this project has really interested me.

Athans: I can’t wait to see where the rest of the authors, Mel Odom, Mike Resnick & Brad R. Torgersen, and Jay Lake take us next, but the potential for exploration in this wild fantasy setting, as it is with this just as wild post-apocalyptic publishing business, is truly fathomless.

Here's the blurb for Nirvana Gates:

She was born there, in the Smog, every day breathing more smoke than air. She was strange, even in a bottomless hell full of creatures from a million worlds. She was doomed to a life of servitude. She was lonely. She was worried about her dying father. She was suspicious of her lying mother. She was scared. She was getting angry.

And she wanted answers.

The Fathomless Abyss can open any time and anywhere, and things fall in, or crawl in, from a million worlds across a million years. Deep in the bottomless expanse of this impossible world lies a doorway to truth, or an entrance to an even worse hell.

Join ground-breaking fantasist J.M. McDermott, author of Last Dragon and the Dogsland Trilogy for a trip deep into the nightmare of self, and the burning desire for redemption.

Enjoy!
--------------------------

One of them finished his tea. He put on small goggles over his eyes to peer down at me.

“What a filthy, ashy thing,” he said. “Its family keep chickens up there in the Smog, I understand?”

“We are ashegglers. My father keeps the chickens. My mother and I…” The pain in my leg silenced me. The guard had pinched me again with a metal glove over my wound. It reopened. I was bleeding again. My blood was tinged with black and green, but it was red like anyone’s. I didn’t deserve to be treated this way.

I bowed my head and waited for them to decide.

“Why do you think it did what it did to our brother?”

“It is Tabagie.”

“It was inside the house.”

“It hurt no guards to enter as a guest.”

“It was a thief.”

“It struck the house first, then our brother.”

“Thieves do not strike down houses.”

“The weapon was something special and rare.”

“No, there must be something else. Look at it. It would speak to us?”

I would before, but now I will not.

“It would speak to us?”

I kept my eyes down.

Let the guard strike me, then. Let them beat me down to a pulp.

“No?”

Let them kill me.

“Our brother was known for his good relations with the Tabagie. He was kind. This is what happens. Tabagie kills him. It cannot be blamed for its actions. It is Tabagie.”

“It is.”

“It was in a gold master’s house.”

“Yes.”

“It does what is in nature for Tabagie. Evil, sick, twisted…”

“No, it has reason. It has mind. It is smart to wear a mask in the Smog, sew it tight.”

“Spiders build gossamer webs of beauty and grace. They have no more mind than the flies they devour.”

“If a beast bites your brother, you kill it.”

“But if it has a brain, if it is no beast…?”

“Kill it.”

“No, speak with it. Learn what happened. Witness reports are confused. We knew our brother. He had…”

“Do not speak ill of the dead.”

“I speak truth in deliberations. Our brother had…”

“Do not say it.”

“There were no younglings kneeling at his forge. When the time for mates came, he would dance with none. Such a noble man, yet he had…”

I turned to the guard. “Must I stand here and listen to this?” I whispered.

The guard said nothing to me. He was a human with pale skin and blond hair. I was larger than this man. I was probably stronger than him. I could try to escape, even with my leg.

Maybe they wouldn’t come after me while they are too busy deliberating my fate.

“We know our brother is dead. Tabagie must know their place. Set an example. We should throw it over the edge.”

“It went over the side already, but did not die. Cut off its head.”

“Too messy. Stinky Tabagie blood hard to wash off the stone. Throw it over the side again. This time, if it is saved, it is fate.”

“Sell it to slavers. It is big, strong. Fetch a good price, and it goes away down the side.”

“Our brother is dead. It must die. Over the side, or the killing stone.”

“Let us decide later. Take it away.”

“It will die.

“Later it will die. Let it go back for now. We must ponder.”

Ser Patrek of King's Mountain


For those people who still doubt that Ser Patrek of King's Mountain in the #1 NYT bestselling A Dance With Dragons by George R. R. Martin is really me, GRRM recently appeared on Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! on NPR and laid the matter to rest.

You can listen to the radio show here.

You can also read the transcript, from which this extract was taken:

SAGAL: Isn't it true that there's a character in your latest book that's there because you lost a bet about a football game?

MARTIN: Yes, in a way, yes, it is. That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well what happened?

MARTIN: Well there's this guy named Patrick St. Denis, who runs a fantasy website called Pat's Fantasy Hotlist. And Pat is a big Dallas Cowboys fan. So we would have a standing bet for a number of years about whether the Dallas Cowboys or the New York Giants would do better.

And I won the bet the first two years. But finally, in the third year the Cowboys finished ahead of the Giants. And what I had to do if he won the bet was to kill him horribly within the books.

(LAUGHTER)

MARTIN: So I invented a character called Ser Patrek of King's Mountain and described his heraldry as looking somewhat like the heraldry of the Dallas Cowboys with the silver star on a white field. And then I had him ripped apart by a giant.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Which he found very enjoyable.

MARTIN: Yeah, he seemed to get a kick out of that.

(APPLAUSE)

----------------------------

I may be wrong, but I think this might be the first time GRRM went public with truth regarding Ser Patrek of King's Mountain and his bloody demise!

It was a fine death. . . And yes, I did get a kick out of that! A little less about the the fact that it is implied that I was on my way to rape a woman. . . But heck, you can't win them all!!! :P

Guest Blog: Myke Cole



I recently invited SFF authors to write guest blogs for the Hotlist, and a few of them have agreed to do so. The first to step up to the plate was Myke Cole, author of what is still the speculative fiction debut of the year (in this house at least), Shadow Ops: Control Point (Canada, USA, Europe).

For more information about the author and his novels, check out his official website.

Cole wrote an interesting piece on leadership. . .

Enjoy!
------------------------

When you work in and around government, the military and corporate America, people talk a lot about leadership. Actually, that’s an understatement. In major bureaucracies, “leadership” is practically fetishized. You can’t swing a sock without hitting a program manager saying that the attribute they most look for in new hires is “leadership.”

For years that term bothered me. It felt nebulous, protean. One man’s leader is another man’s demagogue. What does it mean to really be a leader? What were the specific attributes that one looked for when grooming the leaders of tomorrow? Nobody could ever tell me.

But now, after a year and a half of full time writing, I think I’m starting to get a window on what it might actually mean.

Here’s one thing I never expected to happen when I got a book deal with a major New York publishing house: arguing a plot/character point with an editor with over 20 years experience picking winning horses and creating literary successes, and having her shrug, smile and say, “Okay, it’s your book.”

And not because she agreed with me, but because ultimately, it’s my name going on the cover. I am the creative nucleus of the project. I am in charge.

I win. I rule. I call the shots.

And that’s fucking terrifying.

Because it also means that if dialogue rings hollow, if the plot holes are big enough to admit a Komatsu Superdozer, then that’s also on me. Nobody is going to write a one star amazon review complaining about how badly editorial fucked this up, or how the art department blew it on the cover, or how marketing failed to get behind the project.

They will blame the author.

That’s me, in case you were wondering.

Beta-readers and friends can give me input. My agent and my editor can help me solve thorny problems, make suggestions on how to make a character’s arc more satisfying, or advise me to abandon an ill-advised plot path and start fresh with something more interesting. But these are suggestions. In the end, I make the call, and I own the consequences and all the friends or institutional connections in the world can’t change that.

That’s the most terrifying thing about being a writer.

And it is also the most terrifying thing about being an officer. I think a lot of writers who sign contracts with big publishing houses expect a huge apparatus to kick in. The machine is oiled by years of experience bringing authors to the marketplace and making sure they sell. After all, if the books don’t sell, the publisher doesn’t make money, so they’ve got a vested interest in your success, right?

The same holds true for newly minted officers. The military is centuries old. It’s a well-oiled machine designed to take in fresh-eyed academy graduates and make sure they know where they’re headed and how to get there. The wolf is the pack and the pack is the wolf. There’s nothing to be gained by letting the new guy fall on his face.

But that’s exactly what happens all the time.

Because officers are leaders. They are ultimately responsible for the units they command. They take credit for the success of their subordinates, but they also answer for their failures. When the big questions are asked, all eyes snap back to you. You are the one who has to make the call, and you are the one who has to answer for the results. Your senior non-commissioned officers will counsel you, make suggestions, give you the benefit of their many years of experience. But in the end? Just like that editor, they will shrug their shoulders and say, “It’s your ship, sir.”

And that’s the irony of this experience of writing full time. Because now I finally understand what leadership is, both in the military and in the arts: It is, first and foremost, ownership. It’s a total personal stake in work. It’s genuinely believing that a project belongs to you in every aspect, and that nobody has more responsibility than you to make it as perfect as possible. It’s the bone-deep sense that even though you are part of a team, you are still personally on the hook for ensuring that every aspect of the work (even aspects over which you have little control) is done to standard: standards that you set, because you are that vested in the success of the work.

The best writers I know fret over covers they haven’t designed. They are willing to go to the mat with a proofreader over the placement of a comma. They will spend days emailing back and forth with their editor over a character’s hair-color. Because it’s their baby, and by God it WILL BE PERFECT.

The best officers are the same way. They track paperwork from end-to-end even when they would be well within their rights to send it off and forget it. They spend hours reading policy manuals that only relate tangentially to their work, because, hey, tangentially related IS STILL RELATED. They know the personal quirks, phobias and goals of every one of their crew, not because they’re nosy, but because they want to help them to do their best work. It’s THEIR SHIP and by God it WILL BE PERFECT.

The relationship between a leader and their project/task, done right, seems closest to the relationship between a parent and a child. At some point, you have to parade your unit or send your artwork out to an audience to be judged. But until the moment that happens? You cannot rest, because good enough is never good enough.

Being a professional writer is nothing like I’d thought it would be. Being a military officer is nothing like I’d thought it would be. Both are eerily similar in defying my expectations.

If you want to do either, and do it right, you’d better be ready to own it down to the thread count.