Quality television

I don't think I ever mentioned this, but I'm a sucker for reality shows. Not all of them, mind you. Yet I find a few of them hilarious.

One of my personal favorites is Blind Date. I'm persuaded that you are familiar with the concept: A guy and a girl are paired up to spend the day together, and cameras follow the progress of their date. Understandably, the producers appear more interested in "Dates from hell" than "Matches made in Heaven." Still, win or lose, most shows are a lot of fun to watch. Let's face it: We have all been on dates we'd rather forget. Some more than others, that's for sure. But it's always fun to watch two strangers try to hit it off, or not to.

Today was a good example of how a guy can totally blow a sure thing. This baseball player is on a date with an extremely attractive brunette, and she's sending him all sorts of signals that she wants him to take it to the next level. Seeing that even booze won't unscramble his radar, she leans close and kisses him. Now, that got his attention all right. The problem is that the idiot managed to screw up the whole deal by uttering a single sentence. "Does that mean we can go back, and I'll bang you backwards?" he asks. I don't know where he was from, but over here this crap won't fly! Oddly enough, it was at that moment that the girl completelylost interest. Funny, that. . .

Although this guy was a total asshole, when I see something like that I'm always reminded of one of the show's "Worst Dating Moments." This happened two years ago, if I'm not mistaken. The guy and his gal are in the cab, on their way back home. Things have not gone well. Our man is acutely aware that sex, a blowjob, the hot tub, a hug, or even a goodnight kiss are not within the realm of possibilities. Hence, instead of trying to save face and leave the girl with what little dignity he can garner after making a fool of himself, he decides to go all out. What did he do? you wonder. Our ladies man elected to fart in the cab, something he apparently found incredibly funny.

Now, I'm a single guy, always looking for ways to attract lovely young ladies. And strangely, farting has never been part of my repertoire. Perhaps that's the reason why I'm single!?! No but seriously, what makes a guy who knows he has absolutely no chance to even kiss the girl on the cheek go, "Well, this date's in the crapper. Nothing I say or do can change that. So why don't I end things with a bang, and let one rip on national tv?" It defies comprehension!

I know that girls are a lot more openminded these days, but farting!?! This guy was obviously out of ideas. I need your help to try to explain this queer phenomenon. What pushes a guy to act so stupidly!?! So guys, try to help me understand what went through this person's mind when he decided to let on rip. Is farting now socially acceptable!?!

Every time I think about this, I keep seeing the poor girl calling her girlfriends later that night. "How did it go!?! He farted in the cab! No, listen, I'm telling you. He just let one rip and started laughing like it was the funniest joke." For some reason, I doubt that young lady got in touch with the producers of Blind Date to ask them to set her up with another upstanding gentleman!

Ah, the things we do for you, ladies. . .;-)