A Guide For Getting Laid At Anime Conventions


This ludicrous article has been linked a whole lot on Facebook and elsewhere and this morning I finally had time to sit down and read it. Coming from Return of Kings, I wasn't expecting much in terms of eloquence and intelligence. I mean, as a blog for heterosexual, masculine men, they preach to their own choir. Still, I was taken aback by how insulting and demeaning this piece turned out to be. Here are a few bits to give you a general idea of its content:

The average convention goer is most likely the reverse of what you expect from a nerd convention. The skinny lanky nerd and his buddy the obese manchild are still going to conventions. They will be there giving presentations, but a whole new breed of people is in to anime.

This new breed is young attractive women with mental issues. Women have jumped on to the anime bandwagon. Most of them joined because they’re the second tier of attractive women. They can’t compete with the front runners because of a flaw or two (they might have the body but the nose is way too big). These women would be considered Bargain Bin to regular society. However, to anime loving nerds, these are the new 9′s and 10′s for the anime world. Women love it, because they have a ton of beta orbiters and some creepy omegas. They get to rule over and be the queens of anime conventions. I decoded the code for an alpha guy to go to these conventions and make that second string duchess bow down to your manliness.

[...]

These women are dressed up as animated characters out in public. Most of them spend hundreds of hours to get the details down right. They also have to make sure their diet is right and everything matches. This type of woman is slightly smarter than the average American bar-fly. She can talk about more complicated subjects, but it comes at a price. There is a high chance that an attractive women walking around half naked at a convention center is mentally ill. I can ascertain that a lot of the famous cosplayers have personality disorders like borderline and narcissisism. Generally this is noticeable through things like cut marks, daddy issues, eating disorders and a lot of them are in to hard drugs. These “nerd” girls have the same problems as the average American girl. They are just slightly more intelligent and have lower self-esteem.

[...]

Landwhale:

These are the main species of women at anime conventions. They’re the thirstiest women in existence. These women require no game whatsoever but doing fat chicks lowers your reputation a lot if you want to be with the skinnier hotter cosplay women. You need to not let their advances succeed. The attractive girls will think something is mentally wrong with you if you slept with a hippo. Also, note that these are the chicks who publicly complain about “sexual harassment” because only creepy ugly men would give them the time of day. Even at the anime conventions themselves.

Game Tips: If you’re enough of a degenerate to have sex with a landwhale from an anime convention, wrap it up. They are not the types to take care of their innards including the part you want access to. Vagisil and antibiotic’s aren’t a miracle cure for jumping in to the garbage dump of a vagina.

[...]

Fat Neckbeards:

These are the mostly stereotyped males who go to an anime convention. They’re fat, usually not into hygiene and have a multitude of social problems. Generally, these men will only offend through the olfactory gland. I can’t state enough how smelly the overweight neckbeards are at anime clubs. It is probably illegal under the Geneva Convention to allow these men in the same room as POWS. These men are also white knights but aren’t of the active kind. They just want to eat their fried foods and stock up on body pillows. Compared to all the types of men at anime conventions, these are the most benign.

White Knights:

They’re quite similar to the neckbeard but more virulent. The white knight is fat but not as morbidly obese as the neckbeard. The neckbeard wants to sit in the videogame or video room most of the convention. The white knight has more energy to walk around. They will beta orbit the hottie even if she publicly calls them losers in front of their face. White knights and ugly fat chicks are the ones to be on guard of. They will do anything to stop a player from scoring, even by spreading horrendous false rumors. You may have compassion for the fat neckbeard, but I would give none whatsoever for white knights who want to impede your goals. They also tend to smell but that’s the least offensive thing about them.

[...]

The convention ended and you’re on your way back. You were able to get some notches but feminists have taken notice. They are writing articles like this about “consent”. The undesirables of society (fat chicks, manchildren, ugly women) are trying to keep anime conventions in the domain of blue pillers. Anime conventions will always try to shut us redpillers out but if we start to invade, and remain stealth about it, they can’t do anything. I hope I see more members of ROK at anime conventions. Cosplay chicks are sick of betas and need some alpha’s to come to the conventions and satisfy their sexual needs.
--------------------

That last sentence leaves me speechless. . . This self-proclaimed "alpha male" seems to be one piece of work. His so-called guide to get laid offers absolutely no advice. He is just pissing on everyone, from the hot chicks he would like to bed to the "regular" anime fans. Looks like this heinous article was written by someone whose entire sexual life revolves around the free porn videos found on the internet. Not only is it done in extremely poor taste, but it is incredibly demeaning toward women in general and the female anime fans in particular.

To any of those so-called alpha males thinking of attending an anime convention any time soon, if you intend to follow this guide in order to score some nookie, I'm afraid that your nights will end up with you jerking off in the shower. . . As it should be.

Wow. . . Ignorant douchebag is too mild a phrase to characterize the author of this piece. No need to be a feminist or even a woman to be offended by this stereotypical crap. The good thing, though, is that no one basing his actions on the content of this article will likely ever get laid at a convention. So there is some poetic justice to that. . . =)

Follow this link to read the full article. . .

6 commentaires:

Blodeuedd said...

I need to go kick that guy in the balls...mentally ill?! Wtf

Josh (Fixed on Fantasy) said...

I too have been left a little speechless, mostly that there are people going around with this view of the world and see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I was seriously scared when I say the OP use quotation marks for "consent".

amysrevenge said...

I'm of two minds with this sort of bullshit. Tough to balance "this needs to be exposed" with "do we really want to provide clicks/search hits/ad revenue?". I don't know where I land in the end.

Anonymous said...

The article is pretty mental. It sounds like the author bases his entire life around trying desperately to get laid as if he were some neanderthal. Wow, this isn't the fucking stone age.

Anonymous said...

LOL, sounds like someone got his heart broken at a convention and wants to get back at the entire anime community for it.

Anonymous said...

Whoever wrote this deserves to have his balls kicked by every nerd girl in the world. Seriously. This is insulting on so many levels.