Jacqueline Carey stops George R. R. Martin with a shocking 7th round TKO victory

LAS VEGAS: It was supposed to be yet another voluntary title defense for the undisputed champion of the world, George "The Smash" Martin. No big deal for the man who has made 61 consecutive defenses of his title, ever since crushing Neil Gaiman in the spring of 2006 to claim the three belts that mark him as the undisputed champ. Martin made his entrance to the roar of a partisan crowd at the MGM Grand this afternoon, strutting his stuff, golden teeth flashing in the spolight.

Experts and aficionados opined that Martin was stepping in the ring too rapidly after winning a narrow decison against Canadian contender Steven "The Terror of the North" Erikson just a few weeks ago. Especially given the fact that a lucrative showdown against number 1-ranked challenger and heir apparent Scott "Sweetness" Lynch was just around the corner.

His opponent, Jacqueline "S&M" Carey, was a 17-1 underdog for this title bout. Still, a panoply of Hollywood stars and celebrities sat at ringside, eager for the slugfest to get underway, while the rest of the stands were filled with GRRM fans confident that the champ would make short work of his opponent.

In a rare display of violence, the challenger threw caution to the wind and came out swinging. Martin, evidently taken aback by his opponent's unanticipated offensive, tried to smother the smaller Carey. A viscious uppercut sent him to the canvas for the first time at 1:06 minute of the opening round. Gamely, the champion beat the count and attempted to neutralize Carey's attacks by haymakers of his own. However, having drawn first blood, Carey was hungry for more and a three-punch combination floored Martin again with 20 seconds to go in the round.

Carey was ruthless, pressing the attack with ferocious temerity, battering Martin with savage combinations to the head and the body. Shell-shocked, the champ was knocked down again in the second and fourth round. Shortly after the opening bell of the fifth round, a wild left hook opened a deep cut over the champion's right eye.

Astonishingly, George R. R. Martin was never in the fight. The bell saved him from what seemed to be a sure knockdown at the end of the sixth round. The seventh round had not reached its one-minute mark when the referee stopped the fight. Carey had the champ at her mercy in one corner, and she was punching with reckless abandon, sensing her opportunity. Seeing Martin powerless to contain that barrage of punches, the referee had no choice but to bring this bout to a halt.

Everyone, from the thousands in attendance to the HBO telecast commentators, was stunned. Jacqueline Carey was exuberant, claiming the WBA, WBC and IBF title belts with an impressive TKO victory. "I knew I could do it," she said simply, beaming as she was presented the belts that now mark her as the undisputed champion of the world.

Martin, for his part, promised to be back with A Dance with Dragons. "You haven't seen the last of me," he told reporters at the post-fight press conference. "Those belts have my name on them."

Watching the fight from the front row, Scott Lynch saw his hopes of a multi-million dollar showdown against the man who helped put him on the map evaporate. Asked if he feared the new champion, the usually famboyant boxer replied, "You take all the top contenders in the division, you line them up, and I'll knock them out!"

Apprised of his brash declaration, Carey appeared unimpressed. "I'll teach that hippie a thing or three," she said with a grin. Still, with a title fight against Lynch looming on the horizon, Carey's reign could be short-lived. And yet, for the time being, she is the champ.

WBO champion, Terry "The Almighty" Goodkind was clearly disgusted by the quality of the spectacle. When asked about Martin, Carey and Lynch, the Yeard mocked his peers. "A bunch of commie cunts, every last one of them!" As is habitually his wont, the WBO title-holder was elusive when asked if he would relinquish the belt of that fledging boxing association and face the true champion.

Jacqueline Carey stops George R. R. Martin in the seventh round -- one of the biggest upsets in the history of the sport.

***With the highest number of registrations in the history of the blog, GRRM reigned supreme with the giveaway that saw one lucky young lady win a full set of signed ASOIAF hardcovers. Well folks, with this autographed Kushiel's Justice contest, Jacqueline Carey has just beaten him. Nearly 400 registrations on the day of the announcement -- I've never seen anything like it! And this afternoon, the total of registrations has surpassed that of the GRRM contest of last year. So we have a new champion!;-)

4 commentaires:

Anonymous said...

George would've won the MMA match.

Anonymous said...

Gurrrl Power!

Alsem WISEMAN said...

Hilarious and very entertainning Pat!!!

Roh said...

*blinks*

Oh.

I am not surprised, given that I like Carey more than I like Martin, and think Carey writes a better-structured novel and overall story.

But otherwise, yay for you and the site! :) Cos that must be fun.