Celebrate good times, come on!:-)

Can this really be true!?! I've been waiting for this day for so long, it seems. . .

But with the release of Confessor (Canada, USA, Europe) later this week, Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series will finally come to an end! Good God, but it was a long time in coming!

Wait! Stop the music! What is that I'm just reading? Just as I'm about to do a little dance, make a little love, and get down tonight, rumors that the author is entertaining the idea of producing sequels reach me! Isn't it enough that Goodkind has been milking his popularity for nearly a decade, writing book after book that did little to move the main story arc forward? Now he feels the urge to take advantage of his fans yet again. . . How many Ayn Rand manifestos can one person write in his lifetime, anyway? This is a sad state of affairs, to be sure.

A big Chuck Norris aficionado, this photograph shows Mr. Goodkind on his way to a Walker, Texas Ranger convention. But what's with the suit? Was this a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Extreme Makeover? Is that a fashion statement or a cry for help?

On behalf of all the Lemmings of Discord around the world, may you enjoy Confessor, which will hopefully bring this saga to a satisfying close. Who knows, given the immense popularity of authors such as Robert Jordan and George R. R. Martin, if he elects to write those sequels Terry Goodkind might decide to try his hand at epic fantasy for a change. . .

Wouldn't that be something!?!;-)

Hmmm, it occurs to me that I've always claimed that I wouldn't finish this series until the last volume was out. . . Which means, I reckon, that I will now have to finish the damned thing at some point. . . Holy crap, the very thought of picking up Naked Empire once more makes my skin crawl.

38 commentaires:

Anonymous said...

Kool and the Gang!!! You're doing sound effects now!

WTF man!?! I was laughing so hard I blew beer out of my nose! Do you know how much that hurts!?!

I was kind of expecting you to "celebrate" the end of the Sword of Truth so I was on the lookout for something like this.:)

Queer Eye for the straight guy extreme makeover!!! That mustard jacket really must go!

Can't wait to read you r review of Confessor!;)

Anonymous said...

Here's a crazy idea: If you don't like someone's work or think they're taking advantage of your fannishness, don't support them. Aren't there hundreds--no, thousands--of authors?

Anonymous said...

Oh, Pat. I advice you have a lot of booze handy. That's what Mad Moose does. :)

Larry Nolen said...

Almost always, I can depend upon "anonymous" to have a smarmish, assholish take on matters. I wonder if it's the same "anonymous"... ;)

And Pat, if you've even attempted to read Naked Empire, you've done more than I would...then again, I mailed my copies overseas to see just how much <3 I could get from a certain gal :P

*waits for Martin to force you to read/review Tairy after you lose the bet* ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey Pat...

Love your blog, first time commenter. Personally, I haven't read the Sword of Truth series, and wouldn't want to. I tried Wizard's first rule and gave it up in about half an hour. It wasn't my thing... I was bored.

Now, this is a funny post, but made me think... You don't like Goodkind, that's fine. You want to rant about his popularity, hey - I do too! You want to dissuade people from reading him, that is your prerogative as a reviewer. And I enjoy killer chicken jokes as much as the next guy.

BUT (bet you saw that coming).

I thought the Chuck Norris/ suit wisecrack was over the top, and in bad taste. Critique the work, ridicule the work, leave the person alone.

Lets not get personal in our criticism, eh? As Don Corleone would tell you to, I suggest you keep it strictly business. :)

- sky_walker from the malazanempire forums. (hoping he does not get skewered :) )

Patrick said...

Reading some TG was my initial offer if I lost that bet, but Martin didn't care much for that. George wants me to read something worthy of more exposure if I lose, so it won't be the Sword of Truth!;-)

Paul D said...

I understand your feelings on Goodkind, and share many of them, but I really feel that these kinds of posts are inappropriate. I'm sure that there are some of your readers who enjoy his work and your blog, and don't like being insulted when they visit. Your whole attitude towards him seems very juvenile to me.

Anonymous said...

Pat, I didn't heard much of Goodkind work. And considering your aversion for him can you tell me why I should not read his books, please?
Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Pat--you should hope he does make sequels--then you're off the hook, right, since you said you couldn't read it till it was finished? ;-)

Folks--lighten up! :-) Most of you would ROFL if Pat were snarking about your least favorite author....

Kendall (preparing for cries of, "Nay, 't'wouldn't be so!")

Anonymous said...

So Goodkind is a big fan of Chuck Norris. That would explain his fondness for jaw-breaking and spine-removing...

Anonymous said...

Hah! You guys taking this seriously look silly! It has long been a fantasy internet joke to rag on Goodkind. Anyways, Terry has a very negative view towards all fantasy novels so Pat is really only doing unto him the same. Anyone defending him obviously does not know his views or pretensions.

Anonymous said...

Hey man, I got two words for you: FUCK YOU!

If you can't see Goodkind's genius, then you have no right to be reviewing books, you fucking prick!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure I've said this somewhere before, but Goodkind's hardcore fans are like religious fanatics. Any criticism and they get aggressive. Can anyone link me to an Erikson or Martin fan reacting in the same way? Seriously. I have yet to read of one acting in the same way.

Paul D said...

As the only non-anonymous commenter to criticize Pat, I thought I'd offer this follow up:

First, I really like this blog and the work Pat does here.

Second, I read the first four Goodkind books, then got fed up with his politics. Reading subsequent interviews with him confirmed that I had made the correct decision. I am not a fan, and don't want to be associated with comment number 12.

So, Pat, if I went over the line in my critique, I apologize, but I stand by the sentiment behind it. Hope that's okay.

Patrick said...

Guys, this is not the terrygoodkind.net forums. You can say whatever you like, regardless of whether you agree with me or not.:-)

I've never censored anything anyone has ever said here, and I'm not about to start now. Unless things go way out of line, but that's far from being the case at the moment...

As was the case with last year year-end awards, some found that hilarious and others were a bit irked. Which is as it should be.

Larry Nolen said...

Pat, here a "very special quote" from a certain someone who gave you a certain infamous moniker that I think you'd enjoy discussing at length:

I've long felt that Fantasy literalist engender a magical belief that "fantasy" is prime literature and should be taken seriously. That is to say the "fantasy literary establishment and the way it seeks to compare each and every work within its scope is seriously flawed. It devalues any form of literature that seemingly touches the fringe of its borders, as unpure. Perhaps the "Fantasy" literary establishment and those who cloque themselves in its dying genre as nothing short of fanaticism of biblical proportions...these same "Fantasy" literalists actually need to read with an open mind, and shoulder the blame... as they are to blame for their own illiteracy in the direction of their fictional genre...

Want to weigh in on this elsewhere? :P

Mike said...

I dont like Goodkind, never have.. I dont know much about the author or the subsquent works after the second novel (Which is where I stopped)..

Any, it is obvious that you despise his works.

What got to me about this posting, was, not only were you insultive to the author, but, quite possibly to the fans who do enjoy his works.

Anonymous said...

Gah! This was hilarious.

I read Goodkind for the first 6 books (enjoyed the first four, kept reading hoping they would get better again). It finally finished me when I went to a book signing for "Pillars of Creation" and asked him about his Ayn Rand tendencies.

His response to me was that he always wanted to write Ayn Rand philosophy, but didn't think that it would sell well. So he wrote fantasy first, got popular, and then wrote his take on her philosophy. Except he sucks at that, big time.

Suddenly, the ridiculous downturn of the books made sense! He was waiting to slip some crap to us the whole time!

Glad to find someone else who abhors that series as much as I do currently. I've got too god damn many friends who still read and enjoy it. Yuck!

weenie said...

I wouldn't say that I was a huge Goodkind fan but I have read his 5 of the SOT books and thought they were ok. At some point, I'll read all the others.

Liking or disliking an author is just a matter of personal taste but I have seen forums/blogs where people are vehemently against Goodkind and are very vocal. The vocal minority as usual.

At the end of the day, he sells a load of books and makes a stash of cash.

If you don't like his books, read something else?

Anonymous said...

Goodkind's fans may be more aggressive than most, but when another blogger criticized GRRM a couple of months ago the responses he got from GRRM's fans weren't always polite... The fact is, hard-core fans *never* react well to criticism, whoever their idol is.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Neat, we got a sweet little argument going on here. For those of you who think this post was insulting to Tairy fans, I suggest you read some of Tairy's interviews; he's far more insulting to his own fans than Pat could ever be.

Mike said...

Wether he's insultive to fans or not, that isn't a reason to become insultive of the fans.

And, I'm not saying Pat was being insultive to the fans... But, I can see if I were a fan, I'd be upset.

I know this is a blog, which is in the realm of personal opinions, but, it seemed a little harsh. Someone pointed out earlier, if this was said about GRRM, it would not be tolerated.

Anonymous said...

Some people are far too sensitive, its a JOKE you morons! Besides, I never got to his Ayn Rand inspired stuff, I managed to struggle through Wizard's First Rule then threw it away in disgust because I absolutely _loathed_ that book. Never hated a novel more than that (except maybe the Ill Made Mute by Cecilia Dart Thornton).

Besides, this is the interwebs and my word is as law here so deal with it pinko!

Keep up the humour Pat even if it is at someone's expense - insults are what the intertron is for!

Aidan Moher said...

I'd like to throw my two cents, as a fellow blogger, into the mix as well.

Let me preface this by saying that I'm very well acquainted with Terry Goodkind, his works, his philosophies and his utterly asinine comments made during various interviews.

I was a fan of his, but he lost me when he started to let his philosophies get in the way of any modicum of storytelling. I don't care for the man, his current novels or his philosophy.

In simple terms I think he is a pompous, close-minded fool who needs to think before he speaks. But that doesn't stop me from being bothered by "funny" articles like this.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but my impression of Pat's Fantasy Hotlist is that it is meant to be on of the preeminent, professional resources for speculative fiction on the 'net. What bothers me, then, is the unprofessional and petty nature of jabs such as this one.

I understand that Goodkind, and his novels, are often criticized across the internet on private forums and that many of those that participate in the bashing probably find this article humorous and funny. I don't.

I think George R.R. Martin was correct in his football wager with Pat. Instead of making Pat read and lambaste Terry Goodkind even more, should he lose the bet, Martin had the foresight to put Pat's intelligence and influence to good use by making sure he expends that energy on positive things (reviewing novels that deserve more attention) rather than negative things (poking more fun at ultra-successful Goodkind).

There's just so much good content out there that it seems counterproductive to spend any time on petty, not-very-funny criticisms of an author who deserves no more time, positive or negative, in the limelight.

I'd love to see a thoughtful, honest critique of Goodkind, his novels and his ideals. It's obvious you can create intelligent, thoughtful articles and it's sad to see one of the best and most popular SF/F blogs reduced in this way.

A Dribble of Ink

Anonymous said...

As someone already pointed out, Terry Goodkind is a damn genius. If Pat and you all can see that, then perhaps there's something wrong with you...

I don't care much for people who joke about someone who's so far above every other fantasy writers in the world that it makes them look like a bunch of idiots.

Goodkind rules and that's the Truth, you dumbasses!

Anonymous said...

New word of the day? Insultive.


My apologies if I was insultive to Mike.

Adam Whitehead said...

Well, the blog incident was where Jonathan McAlmont criticised GRRM without actually reading the books and made huge generalised comments about readers without providing any kind of evidence or coherent argument for them. He got called on it and failed to present any kind of defence.

As for Goodkind, his webmaster has been running around for the last couple of days gleefully lying to people that the ASoIaF TV series has been canned, which is a bit pathetic, frankly.

Anonymous said...

I was once like you. I started to hate Jordan...and to show my anti-Jordan colors, I became a GRRM fan-boy.

It's lame, lame, lame.

I no longer enjoy GRRM, Jordan or Goodkind. Oh well. Life goes on. Your bitter hatred of Goodkind is only slightly annoying than your fanboy worship of GRRM

Anonymous said...

Fanboy worship of GRRM???

Pat has only read the first two Ice and Fire books. Call him an Erikson fanboy and I'm sure he'll agree. But I don't think you can consider hima GRRM fanboy...

Shawn C. Speakman said...

I don't like Goodkind's work either, but Pat went to a place he shouldn't have. Here's why:

1) He's trying to find a publisher for his own book. If Tor came across that post -- or any publisher for that matter -- it very well could hurt Pat's chances of getting a book deal. Publishers want professionals, and that post wasn't professional.

2) In line with #1, a writer wants his book to be read by the most people possible. Posting such a rancid thread alienates possible readers (New York Times-sized readership) from even trying Pat's book. It automatically loses sales. Even if Pat doesn't care about sales, publishers do.

I think Pat has every right to say whatever he wants here. But I can say I come here to read about science fiction and fantasy -- news and reviews -- and baseless commentary of the sort in that post makes me not want to visit here again.

In short, that post is un-Hugo worthy.


Anonymous said...

Political correctness is just destroying the jokes and sarcasm that I hold dear. I'm finding it hilarious that there are so many "anonymous" posts when even with a moniker you are effectively anonymous anyway!

Pat - keep it up, somehow I think dissing Terry Goodkind's fashion sense isn't going to harm your chances of being published.

What happened to good ol' fun? Honetsly, what is wrong with you people? Sure get offended if you must but take it with a grain (or whole cellar) of salt!

People are so damn serious these days about the tiniest thing, this world needs more sarcastic laughter dag nabbit!

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Jebus on this. People are reading way too much into this. This was meant as a joke, pure and simple.


Anonymous said...

I personally hate both GRRM and Goodkind's politics, and wish I didn't know about their rather stupid political views. Goodkind is so over the top, he is almost parody. And I believe the GRRM was posting that "democracy is over in the US" after the 2004 elections, which is total crap. Last time I checked, we still had a democracy. Wingnut and moonbat, to hades with both of them!

Anonymous said...

As an Ayn Rand fan who read WFR and got -NO- hint of Objectivist philosophy behind it, I'm deeply suspicious of Goodkind's claim that he started away from it and then worked it in. It appears much more likely on the surface that he discovered Ayn Rand somewhere around Book 5 and before Book 6, and suddenly re-routed where he was going with the series.

When I saw reviews for FotF, I skipped straight to that one. There is no comparison in tone or message between the first book or the sixth. The first was typical fantasy. The sixth was Ayn Rand through and through. No hints of one in the other at all; there was a definite and distinct lane change here.

I'm all for seeing Objectivism explored in fantasy, but he's made two key mistakes: he hijacked the expectations of his fan base that had no hint of what was coming from the early volumes; and he's gone over the top with his message to the point where it's almost self-parody.

I expect he'll mellow out in a few years on Ayn Rand, like most people (including myself) eventually do, and we'll see what he has to say for himself then.

Cave Explorer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cave Explorer said...

Inchoatus has some fairly balanced reviews of the Sword of Truth series (complete with essays and so forth).

Anonymous said...

It seems that there are a few people on here that have some brains.

This whole internet war thing with Goodkind is a joke. People devote way too much of their time to something they hate.

And it goes behind simply not liking his books etc. People, who hate his work, can't wait to pick up confessor just so they can mock it, criticise it and laugh at it.

It never ceases to amaze me at the level of ..... what stupidity that some people go through just so they can laugh along with their buddies at something they hate.

Don't like Goodkind. Read something else. Actually spend some time doing something you do like.

A lot of people who have commented here have said the same thing - forget this petty nonsense in blasting goodkind and get on with your own lives and promoting those things that you like.

Martin has the right idea in that little wager. He wants you to do something that he finds positive - not negative.

All of these Goodkind bashers should take note of Martins message. Do things that are positive, and your life will probably be a whole lot better. (and don't give me any crap about bashing goodkind being positve).

You also look at the "aggressiveness" of Terry's fans. Hell I'd be aggressive too if i had all of that nonsense from these Terry bashers hurled in my direction.

I've read a lot of forums that have members that devote themselves to "bashing" goodkind.

Half the time they misinterpret just about everything the man has written. It's no wonder that they hate him so much.

Grow up Pat, and all other Goodkind bashers that regularly waste their time.

Don't like goodkind - read something else. Devote yourself (as Martin suggested in his wager) to something positve.